Today I went for a job trial at a little café in a little shopping village and the anxiety about it was insanely high. I don’t really know why I’ve done things exactly like this before but for some reason I felt terrible about it. The whole idea of starting over again, a new place, new faces. Honestly terrified me but I went in there and I did the shift, which wasn’t that bad, and I went home. Just like I do with interviews I had something nice to look forward to when I got home. Sometimes we build up this idea in our heads that we are going to fail and that we aren’t worth it when in reality we should be making ourselves feel better and even proud of ourselves. Sometimes the cup does need to be half full. I want to feel happy in a place when I work there that’s why I left my last place. I know my worth and I know what I deserve so I will not settle for less than that.
We all need to remember our worth sometimes :)
0 Comments
I made a post a while ago talking about my first day of university and how I was feeling. Well it’s been 5 weeks so I wanted to do an update. I am stressed, that’s how I feel. Sometimes I feel like I’m getting the hang of things and then other times I zone out of lectures for two solid hours and zone back in at the end. As you can see it is going really well.
To be honest university is actually going really well. My lectures, for the most part, are interesting and the assignments that I have been given aren’t that hard (yet!). nearly everything that I am being taught at the moment is stuff that I had been taught last year, its just a recap. I’m also starting to socialise with the other people in my lectures. Not to the point that I know them all and I hang out with them, I’m still majorly hanging round with the people I already knew, but I am starting to get top know everyone. Going from college to university has been a major step but I am really enjoying university. It’s interesting and I’m so glad I made the choice to go. I love the vibe university has going on and I cannot wait for the rest of the year. There is something about the room going dark, the curtains opening and the spotlights hitting the stage that makes me happy. The first beat of a song always gives me that warm feeling of happiness and I honestly could spend all my time in the theatre. It’s something that I have loved since I was a little girl. Something that I have not found something like since. From Little Shop of Horrors and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers to SIX and Heather's there is no limit to what kind of musical I love. Every musical that I have ever seen I have loved to the point of obsession and would happily watch repeatedly. Musicals are the one thing I could never get bored of. Because I fall in love with every musical, I watch it is very hard to pick a favourite however I can pick my top 5. These five are the ones that I love the most and the ones that I would watch forever and ever and never be bored of. There is no order to these because I love them all equally.
The first one that I want to mention is my Nan and uncles’ absolute favourite and so naturally, having watched it a few times and seen them love it as much as they do, I couldn’t help but also fall in love with it. The music reminds me of the 60s and the whole vibe of the musical just feels so old fashioned and like how musicals always were. There’s no one reason why I love little shop of horrors I just do, and I always will. It holds a very special place in my heart. The next one I want to mention is Wicked. Oh, how I love Wicked. The story is so unique, and I love the whole meaning behind the musical. On top of this Defying Gravity isn’t half a good song to belt in the shower. The third one I want to mention is Heather's. This is a musical that as of, yet I haven’t seen but I’m so excited that its going on tour next year because I have been dying to see it ever since West End Live 2018. Its just such a perfect musical that has the perfect amount of drama and comedy and the soundtrack is just amazing. There isn’t one song that I dislike. They are all amazing songs that I now know every word to. I am sorry to my neighbors that must listen to me sing ‘I Say No’ 10 times a week. The second to last one that I want to mention is The Lion King. Now I love the movie, always have done, but there is something particularly special about the musical. I was lucky enough to see it when we visited London a few years ago and it was one of the best moments of the holiday. The what that they make it so real without being obviously puppets is amazing and there really is nothing like it so far in the world of theatre in my opinion. The last one that I am going to mention is Cats. There is nothing I don’t like about Cats. The music is amazing, the set is so well done and thought about, the dancing is amazing, the use of music to tell the whole story is just pure delight and whoever thought of the character Mr Mistoffelees is an absolute genius. Cats is something that will always have a special place in my heart no matter how many times I watch and no matter how many times I listen to the soundtrack. I will love it till the day that I die. These are not the only musicals that I like and there isn’t an order to how much I love them both. It's just a list of the musicals that I would pick if I had to pick five. I cannot wait to go and see some of the new shows that are coming out now. There's just something so special about the theatre. I made a promise to you many times. That even when i was older i would come to yours every weekend. You said when i got older i wouldnt want to, id want to go out with friends and have fun. What you never realised was the most fun i had was with you. Some of my favourite memories are in them random, spontaneous weekends. Im so glad i carried it on till the end.
Id give anything to waiting in your office again for you to finish work, to talk your ear off all the way home about the week i just had, to go to asda then kfc, to be welcomed by that well known smell as soon as i walk through the door, to sit and watch law and order late into the night, to have you check on me when you come to bed (even when you no longer needed to you still did that) and to wake up to the phone ringing or your bedroom door squeeking open. I miss it all. You are at peace now and im so glad you are out of pain and with the man you missed so much even if it means i have to miss you Everyone has regrets, things that they wish they had said or things that they wish they had done and honestly I think it can be one of the hardest things to deal with. I have many regrets in my life. From not saying goodbye to people to not speaking up for myself when I should have done. But at the end of the day unless you have a time machine there is no way to change what has happened. The best thing that you can do is learn from that regret and also think at that time that was what was best for you and maybe next time when it happens, or something similar happens, you can remember the regret that you have and try and not do the same thing as you did last time.
One of the major things that I regret in life is not spending more time with my nan. She was very ill and honestly it scared me to see her like that. A lot of the time I did spend time with her at first because I stayed around her house to help look after her but at the very end I just couldn’t handle it and rarely went to the hospital and often stayed away from the room she was in at home. I majorly regret this and I don’t want it to happen again so I try to spend as much time with the people that I love and make sure that they know they are loved. This is something have worked with a lot and slowly in the last year the amount of guilt and regret I have about this has gone down which has made me feel better as a person. I may not be able to change the past and spend more time with my nan but I am able to spend more time with the people that are still here. The thing that I have learned over the past, maybe, ten years is that everything does happen for a reason. I know it does sound cringe but it is true. Things happen and they teach you lessons that you can learn how things work and what they do. Regret can be used in a positive way and can lead you to not make the same mistakes. The most important thing to remember when it comes to regret is that it’s in the past and can’t be changed and that can be hard but it really doesn’t matter when it comes to your future as long as you use it tom make you a better person or help you to make better decisions. ‘it doesn’t matter its in the past’ -Rafiki Me and my fiancé have been dating for around a year and a half and I wanted to have something to remember how we both met. We both started off in different classes but in the same college and after a few weeks we ended up being in a joint class and things did not start off great. Our class hated each other, the classes started off with a massive argument that just kept going on for a few months. Around march 2018 I was added into the group chat for his group and we started to talk on there and things started off slowly, we talked but mostly it was group conversations. Eventually after I came back from Egypt his friend messaged me to ask if I liked him and we eventually started to talk to each other. We slowly got talking and getting to know each other and our first date was to go and see the movie Rampage which was also our first kiss. During the time that we were getting to know each other we spent a lot of late nights in McDonalds eating crappy foods and telling each other things we haven’t told before. The day that we officially got together was on the 15th of April 2018 which seems like such a long time ago now. And now we are in the same class in university and I couldn’t be happier. Our first photo
Hey you, i want to start with i miss you, we went through so much together i couldn't not. There were so many highs and some very deep lows. I missed you for a while. I went from telling you everything to telling you nothing at all, I went from seeing you every day to passing by without even a slight bit of eye contact. Everything that happened, everything you did and everything I did in return hurt for a long time. But now I am ready to thank you for getting me out of the worst time of my life, for getting rid of the parasite that had taken over. Sometimes I wish things would go back to how they were, how we were but that’s just not an option I don’t think I will ever trust you to the same extent again. I know to this day you don’t think you did anything wrong but you did and I hope deep down you know you did. And I hope you know that you truly hurt me, you were the last person I ever thought would do that to me. But it's okay. I'm over what happened and I'm okay with being how we are. I'm glad I have the memories and the past because you made me a better person but It will never be how it was. I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world.
Love always, Becky x There are many things that can cause anxiety. The main thing for me is having to look for a new job. At the beginning of September, I found myself looking for a new job and this as it usually does end with an interview. There are a lot of things that I do to prepare myself for an interview and allow myself to be in a good frame of mind ready to go and get myself a new job. So, here is my few rules I follow to be prepared:
The first thing that you should always do is think positive from the start. You have got this far; you’ve earned the interview and so you have to remember you belong there. Positivity is key. The next thing that I always do and is good when you don’t know how to just confidently talk about yourself and your skills. Is to prepare some conversation points or some key topics that you want to mention. Then you aren't just rambling you have exactly what you want to say. No company will think less of you for taking in some notes. One thing I always do for after an interview is plan something fun or enjoyable so that you don’t have to think about it afterwards. I usually plan to do something like go to the cinema or meet up with friends 30ish minutes after the interview. This gives you time to think over the interview and then put it to a side to not think about. If you keep thinking about it you will overthink every little thing that you did or said. The main thing that you have to remember is your strengths and your weaknesses. These are things that they enjoy hearing however it is also good for you to know when going in. There is no point saying that you can do something when you can't. However, something that a lot of companies think is good is if you can say what your weaknesses are but also how you would like to overcome them and turn them into strengths. Companies will prefer this then you pretending that you are perfect. So, there is my tips for going to an interview. At the end of the day if you get the job, you get it if you don’t then you will get another one it's not the most important thing in the world. |
ABOUT ME
Hi I'm Becky. I'm 19, studying computer science at University and i wanted a hobby. Welcome to my hobby <3 Archives |